


It's Not Easy

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Series: The Acrobat [5]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 13:04:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9325388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: It was something he had to do. And he’d never regret it, no matter how much it broke his heart too.(Inspired by ‘It’s Not Easy’ by Alex da Kid.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> These all accidentally revolve around when Bruce died in preboot. Not on purpose. I feel like Dick purposely takes a lot of shit from and for his siblings because he feels like he has to, or does things that he thinks is best for them, even if it might not be. I dunno, a sad Dickie hating himself but also being comforted by the fact he loves his sibbos is my jam. And also why did no one tell me I haven’t updated this series in over a year!!!!!

It was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. And he hated that he had to do it over and over and over.

But he would never apologize. If breaking their hearts meant keeping them safe, doing what he thought was best for them, then that was the price he’d pay.

Still.

He always knew the moment. The exact second where their hearts shattered, and they felt betrayed. Where they _hated_ him, and wished they never met him as long as they lived.

When he told Jason, during his worst days, he could see now looking back, that he couldn’t be Batman after Bruce died. That he and his brand of justice were wrong. When they fought, he could see it in Jason’s eyes, even behind the cowl, the emotions his Little Wing wouldn’t show, wouldn’t let himself have. His heart was shattering, because he was letting himself believe Dick hated him.

That, of course, could never be true in a million years. In a million universes.

When, adversely, he told his dear sister that _he_ was taking their dead father’s place instead. That he was going to become the Batman, drop everything, drop his whole life to come back and pretend to be someone he wasn’t. And she was harder to read, but when he told her he didn’t need her help, that he was going to do it on his own (again, for her safety, so she could keep living her own life, he thought that was _obvious_ -) he could almost literally see her heart tear in two. Watched her eyes flash anger, then sadness, then disappointment. Maybe at first because she thought Dick didn’t trust her or her skills, and then because Dick was once again dropping his own life to shadow in Bruce’s.

A habit he knew she hated. A habit he never quite seemed able to break.

When he told Tim he was taking Robin from him. _God_ , he’d never seen a heart demolished so quickly. He knew Tim would be upset, but even he didn’t foresee how utterly _destroyed_ Tim would be. How furious. His blue eyes _screamed_ betrayal. Shouted hatred at the one Tim once considered an idol. And Dick could only watch, as Tim stormed away, as that broken heart surrounded its broken pieces with steel and fences and barbed wire.

Dick never thought about how his own heart was broken that day too.

And again, adversely from Tim: when he told Damian to _stay_ Robin. When he broke up their partnership so Bruce could have his son, and Damian his (true) father. It was for the best, Dick thought. Really. They both deserved a chance to love each other, the way Dick loved them both. But Damian’s eyes still haunted him, the way silent resignation settled into them. The loneliness. The instant beration, where he scolded _himself_ for not being good enough, or strong enough, to keep Dick by his side. Dick remembers watching guiltily, as Damian’s heart crumbled into dust. Knowing that was his fault, that there was nothing he could or _would_ do about it, because he believed it was for Damian’s own good.

And, while he still didn’t regret it, breaking _that_ heart was a blow he was still trying to recover from himself, even now.

But time heals all wounds, they say, and Dick supposed that included broken hearts. And while his still had a long way to go, he had hope of a quick recovery. Especially now, as he walked back into his living room with the freshly delivered pizza.

Jason was on one end of the couch, and Tim on the other. Cassandra sat next to him, and Damian’s legs were draped across her lap, while his head was pillowed in Jason’s. They were laughing, all getting along. Frankly, this get-together had been all of _their_ idea.

“Uh-oh.” Jason hummed, pulling Dick from his thoughts. “Get outta your head, Dickie, and bring us that pizza. This is a brood-free zone.”

Dick laughed even as he walked across the room, watched as Damian curled forward just enough for Dick to squeeze in between Jason and Cassandra, before rolling back and curling up to Dick’s chest.

Their hearts had all mended, Dick realized, as Tim immediately took the box, and gave himself first dibs of the pizza, despite Jason’s whining. Their hearts had healed, no longer broken into pieces and splinters and dust. Whole and reformed and new.

And as Jason shouted about starting the movie, as Cassandra reached for the remote to do just that, and as Damian waved a slice of pizza in Dick’s face, even as he chomped on his own, Dick realized – they’d forgiven him. For all his caused heartache and sadness and betrayal, _they’d forgiven him._

Maybe one day he’d forgive himself too.


End file.
